How do I stop my anger?
ANGER DESTROYS PERSONAL REALATOINSHIPS,,
How do I stop my anger?damage to personal elatoinship is on eof the most commna sosts of anger . and probably the worst .the relatoinships that are damaged are ofte our best .you may believe like many people do that agnger is somthing we direct mostly at people we dislike tell us this is not true
we more commonly make ourselves anger at individual we know well the most frequent targets of anger include spouses chilldren com workers and friend ;the follwing case examles illustrete this point..
jeff was in his late fifties when he came inot therap ot get control over his explosive temper .he was divorced with two grown children he said that his wife become fed up wit his angry outbursts and controlling behaviors and had divorced him several years befoere even when he stil had some conact with his children .their relatonshi was often strained once while visinting with his dauthter .he got into an arguent with his son in law the exchange became so heated that jeff actually punched him since that time both his children had refusedto have any contact wih him, when looking back jeff sadly relalized that his anger had contributed to the loss of most his close family ties,,
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nancy was twenty six years old when she sought help .at that time she had been living wet her boyfrien gred.for abut two yers.they had been plainning to ge married but nancy anger at fred wasderyying ther relationship she reported feeling jealous and enreaged about him working closely with other woman and complained that he wasnot paying enough attention to her, while ther was no evidence that gred was romantically involved wit any of his xoworkers.nancey would search for things he was doing wrong.periodically she would accuse him of all sorts of horrors and somthing yell and throw things around the house .fredfinally got fed up with her angry displays broke off the engagement and moved out,
these two cases may seem somewhat extreme but actually are not that uusual .peple like jeff will frequently put the blameon other whrn theri relationship are rough they refuse to compromise or adjust when disagreements arise its not until some of their relationship begin falling apart that they take some responsibiliy for their anger and really notice its grm costs.in many cases they do not realize that their own angry feeling an outbursts have led them to lose friends and fail to influenceeople until its s muchtoolate nancy case was a little diferent .the loss of just one important relationship was enought for her to see that she hada problem with anger contrl but at first een she blamed her rage on her exfiance she reasoned trht because she was feeling o hurt and angry fred must be wrong she did not improve until she accepted responsibility for her own lack of emotional control.
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think about your own life has your anger ruined any important relationships/ do you tend to blam other people for how you are feeling if youcontinue this pattern where will you be a few years from now letting go of your anger and being more accepting and flexible in close relationship will probably serve you better in the long -and short run
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